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To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom


The older I get, the more fears I have. Totally unintelligible. It should have been just the opposite. Everything started with a fear of snakes, then a fear of sharks, now I'm terrified of elevators, small spaces and  large crowds of people. What the future holds... 



For each of the above-mentioned object and circumstances, I know the cause of fear. I know why I'm afraid. I know all events that were the reasons for all this. But I can't get rid of fears. They obstruct my daily activities. As an example, I can tell you about my vacation by the sea… I don't go in the sea, because of sharks. And I truly love swimming. But the fear is stronger. So that's why I just dive into water and then I'm almost flying back to the land. I know how silly and absurdly this sound to you, but I can't help it. 

The fears we don't face, become our limits. 
(Robin Sharma)

When we are afraid of something, it is very typical to predict future events related with our fears (my thoughts: »The shark will come right now«). We also generalize things (my thoughts: »Sharks are everywhere, even in the Adriatic sea«) and exaggerate (my thoughts: »It will tear me apart«). 

Are you afraid of something? Let me know in the comment below. Or you can also write me in a private message through any of my social networks, which you can find on the right in the menu. I'm very interested which fear is going to be the most common. Researchers found out that students in America are mostly afraid of spiders (34%). The second most common fear is a fear of public speaking (31%), followed by a fear of snakes (22%), a fear of height (18%) and a fear of injection (16%). Among all the participators, 18% wanted to find a help from an expert. 



You are probably thinking that your fears aren't so problematic and that you don't need to visit a psychologist. That's why I designed some useful tips about how can you help yourself at home. I hope that you will like it! 

1. Make a list of your fears. I personally love to write, draw and embellish the written things. Some people don't like those stuff. You can choose. You can create a list on a sheet of paper or you can remember it in your mind. This is your choice. The only important thing is to identify your fears. This could be troublesome. You can be aware that you are uncomfortable walking around a large shopping centre or being in a giant business building, but you don't know their common thing. So that's why it's better to think and write down all of the things that you are afraid of. And then you will find shared feature of your fears. This will be much  easier.

2. Accept your fears. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Don't try to hide it. Admit them. It's totally fine to feel afraid from time to time. Everyone has something that surrounds him with horror. It's important that you know this, because otherwise you can't confront with your problems. You can't face them if you deny them. 

3. Try to find causes for your fears. When did everything start? Which was the critical event? When you manage to answer those questions, your feelings will be more understandable. Everything will be more acceptable for you. 

4. It's also important to think about your reaction, when you will be confronted with the object of fear. In this case you can reduce the feeling of panic. It will be easier for you to control your emotions. You will be more calm, because you will consider certain things and you will have a ready-made plan of action. I have some suggestions for you: 
  • Relaxation techniques are essential. Find out which is your favourite one. Remember how to calm down. You can try different breathing techniques, physical exercise, yoga, imagination or others. You need to know which is the best for you, so that you will use them happily. You have to learn how to use them at anytime and anywhere. 
  • Try to think how can you distract your thoughts. A very simple way is a subtraction technique. When you will be afraid, start at number 500 and count backwards for seven units. 
  • Remember the past event which was in opposition to your predicted happening. For example, in an elevator you can think that during your last ride you have managed to survive the feat. 
  • Imagine the reason why is your terrible prediction impossible. I have often said to myself, that today is somehow too cold for snakes. So I was calm during a walk around a meadow. 
  • Think of your friends and parents. How would they calm you down? What would be their comforting words? And what would you say to your friend with similar problems?


5. Prepare a Plan B. In case you will face your fear, you may feel overly anxious. So you will need an escape plan when circumstances will be too horrible. Probably you won't use it, but you will feel much better with an extra back-up plan


That's all for today! I have some extra useful tips to help you to overcome your fears. I will reveal them this Friday. And I will also reward all of my new and old subscribers with some nicely, well-designed and more transparent list »How to overcome the fear?«. Are you interested in? Subscribe in the box below. 


Love
Saša 


Source: 

Seim, R. W. in Spates, R. (2010). The prevalence and comorbidy of specific phobias in College students and their interest in receiving treatment. Joirnal of College Student Psychotherapy, 24. 49 – 58. 

How to Overcome Phobia. (b.d.). Retrieved from: http://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-Phobia

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