Being alone

When I moved to Copenhagen a lot of people asked me, what am I going to do when my boyfriend, who is a professional footballer, will go on his everyday training. Or what am I going to do when he will be on his training camp. They were trying to tell me that I will be alone and that this is something negative that I don't want to experience. A lot of people understand this 'alonetime' as a negative state of being. Thinking about it can be really uncomfortable for them. 

We have to learn how to enjoy the empty moments in our life. We don't have to be busy all the time. From time to time we just have to stop  and take a deep breath and think about the things that are happening at the moment, because being alone helps us to figure things out. 

I am sure that a lot of us don't really understand how important it is to have some time just for ourself. But that doesn't mean that we are lonely ...We have to distinguish aloneness and loneliness!

Sometimes my family and friends ask me, why I wake up so early. Until today I didn't know the right answer to their question… but now I know it. I love to wake up in quiet mornings, make my coffee and plan my day. From time to time I felt guilty because of this joy that I felt. Because I was happy just on my own. But I shouldn't have felt this way. So I decided I am never going to give up those solitary mornings, because this is my alonetime, the fuel for my everyday life.

In alone time we can all grow as a human being. We can listen to our inner self and make some decisions without outside influences. We can use this time for emotional self-regulation and identity development. And most importantly we can  rest our body and mind! Because spending time alone can be one of the most restful and peaceful activities. 

So why are we afraid to be alone? Maybe because nobody ever taught us how to do it…

So where to start? Even a few minutes of meditation daily would be an excellent beginning. For start you can try some guided meditations on YouTube. Some of them are really great! If this is too boring for you, then take yourself to a dinner in a nice restaurant and enjoy your meal. You can also explore your home town or even travel alone. It can be hard in the beginning, but I am telling you, you will enjoy it in the end!

Love

Saša